Dear All,
I am writing an open letter to encourage a purchase of the Sony Playstation 3 by the end of October so we can all play Little-Big-Planet together (please see video below). If needed I have compiled a list of excuses you can use to approach respected, respective partners:
1. It's BLUE RAY. The future, and we're doomed without it. Please emphasise the word DOOMED. Don't worry about them understanding what BluRay is, just remind them that their VHS and DVD collections are now obsolete.
2. It's very quiet and can be neatly tucked away due to it's wireless design. You may want to draw some potentially sexist context into this by adding that "It's about as quiet as a refrigerator." In the case of the disc spinning and reading data it may be worth comparing it to "The subtle hum of a low powered microwave or a fan assisted oven".
3. It's High Definition, it's the FUTURE. Your current HD setups are helping no one. Over the comming weeks, gradually degrade the picture quality of your televisions by using an ever increasing depth of laminate over the screen. On visiting a friend's home or indeed a PS3 retail outlet you can point out the vast difference in quality that the PS3 provides.
4. You can charge your iPod off it, darling. People like nothing more than to see one of their own beloved devices working in harmony with a new technological monster. Present them with the facts. Those USB ports are powered and will power any USB device that allows charging over the sync cable. Try not to let that last (or infact, only) fact slip, make it seem as if his/her device is especially special and the PS3 knows it.
5. I will no longer require you to walk to Blockbuster to get me my DVD rentals, Sweetie. The PSN network promises movie rentals, trailers and television episodes. The PSN network fails to deliver on two of the three but has what we can refer to as POTENTIAL. Blind faith in the future is a hard one to convince even the most niave of partners but it is possible with a few ripped movies sitting on the hard drive until the features are there to exploit.
6. With my ever increasing social problems, twined with my ever increasing drinking problems; I can become a social butterfly with the aid of the Playstation 3. If your partner is anything like mine, she'll be writing letters in secret to your parents expressing a concern for your growing detatchment from society. Here's your chance to get back on the social bandwagon by 'blowing shit up' with friends. Via the bluetooth headset you can chat to friends (who you have no intention of meeting) across the globe. Pitch this one as "You know Skype, well..." and you're on the right course.
I bid ye good luck, see you online in October 2008.
