All done.

Rocking.

A trip to the Co-Op with Darth Vader

Regardless of the sick feeling in my stomach and the slight wane in my voice I put on a brave face and we set off.

It was only after buying beer from the Co-Op that I reflected on when we were kids we could have been served alcohol underage purely by wearing a robot costume. The staff had no problem serving Mr Roboto or indeed Darth Vader.

Man made VIRUS

The last thing that should happen to a robot has happened, I got so smashed last night that today I feel at anytime I could see my lunch again. A decent worry now is BOTH putting on trousers AND leaving the house.

Taking shape, taking stock

I can feel myself getting excited just at seeing it across the room now. Often I just put the head on and prance about telling my flatmates that I'm a robot.

My main concern still is the legs and arms. I have a terrible feeling my jaunt into robotics is almost at the end for this creation but I'm refusing to admit it. Having a little fall in the hallway clarified my biggest fear so I'm going to be realistic about this and just discard my original plans.

Knowing your own strengths

At this stage of creation I've decided that my efforts need to be recognised in some sort of public way. Here is my email, I wait a reply.

Dear Party People.

I was just enquiring if there is some sort of prize structure planned for Saturday's fancy dress? You know, to encourage us kids to dress up? Note: (Here, you may see that I'm very much bluffing. I'm the first to realise the strength of my potential entry to a competition. Some events worth winning need adequate mind games.)

Yours Faithfully
Simon

A head for robotics, a body for disco dancing.

I had the disappointing choice of grey or hot pink; since I don't frequent that scene on weekends it seems unsuitable. Gunmetal grey it is then (or to give it the actual, less tough sounding name 'Ford Nimbus Grey'). I assume Ford is a robot manufacturer like myself.

The kind lady in the shop told me they are the "best robot parts in Surbiton" and that "I'm lucky she deals in art equipment AND robotical engineering". Although, having said that I quizzed her on the fundamental principles of two-legged robotic walking and she backed off.

Now that the Robot paint is applied, the cardboard should now be referred to by its correct name - Pliable Titanium Alloy or PTA. Brief correspondence with the local 'Parent Teacher Association' cleared up some confusion but the fear of the 'Postcard Traders Association' contacting me is constant.
It might look suspiciously like a box but that's just a trick of the eye. When the PTA is applied, it'll all become clear. At this point I must admit that my plans were in fact totally floored. To put it simply, if I wear something as restrictive as the upper half on my legs, the effect would be fantastic but the mobility would be impaired to an extent that could cause an untimely death on the escalators of Greenwich Station. This is an inappropriate option taking into account the party’s 7pm start time.

Plans

As with all great designs, accurate blueprints are critical. See below the precise measurements and technical drawings? You can't teach that.

Soggy robotics

I just can't help thinking the weather is mocking my efforts.

If you're going to go, go dressed as a robotic drunk.

I think part of the research should contain the mobility of the robot. I'm going for pretty much full on body coverage but If I cant even make it out my front door I'm screwed.

Google Maps seems confident that it's exactly 11 miles to the destination, a figure I don’t doubt. What scares me is the ambitious '24 mins' journey time. They have clearly not taken into consideration that someone may be completing the journey in a cardboard robot suit with very little visibility. In fact, the more I consider the inaccuracy, the more I believe that Google thinks I can drive a vehicle dressed like this. So irresponsible - What with the beer and all.

No, I'm taking a tube and possibly a bus to really test my nerve. It might as well be an urban obstacle course with all those lifts, escalators, travelators and narrow tunnels to contend with on the tube. My biggest fear is gently bouncing down the 120ft escalator in Greenwich station or later, being plaited round the axel of a bus. I think I need some sort of minder to ensure none of the above presents its self on this journey.

R&D: Over the top?

Generally speaking weapons are something that's frowned upon throughout the UK. Whether it be guns, swords or flame throwers, the world is in trouble if I get my hands on this: http://snipurl.com/robot_fun

I think that sign is Japanese for "DO NOT POINT AT FACE". How I would show this off at an indoor party is yet to be decided. Perhaps gentle persuasion to move the location to a warehouse or wooded area might bode well for exercising my arsenal.

R&D: Aim high

When planning a venture into robotics, it's advisable to gain a level to aspire to. I may appear to be punching above my weight here but I figure that Honda is leagues ahead of any other company in the world for small scale robotics so if my benchmark exceeds the robotic know-how of say NASA, 1/2th the final success is admirable.

Taking a closer look at Asimo in this footage, he appears to be made of some sort of cardboard with a young man inside. Enlarging and enhancing the video leaks the secret that he is held together with paper fasteners made of a cheap brass substitute. Such an insight into the creation of Asimo is going to cut out on those awkward decades of research and development, which quite frankly I don't have.

Simon plans Halloween get up, robotic world holds breath

28th of October is this years planned celebration of Halloween which, incidentally falls on the following Tuesday; potentially less exciting on a work night.

Sitting around a pub table a few weeks ago, I was accused of "Never making an effort" at Halloween. Quite where that witch got her story from is anyone's guess but a friend and host of an upcoming party reiterated it days later.

I'll show them. I'll show them all.